It's not you, it's me.

My mother-in-law thinks I don't trust her.  I keep trying to explain that it's not her, it's me. 

You see I think I'm a freak of nature.  I have trouble lettng my daughter spend the night with my in-laws.  If it were up to me, Bean would never sleep away from home.  In fact, I get so antsy when she does spend the night that I can't sleep and I rush to pick her up the next day.  I would rather Bean stay at home with me every night.  And it has absolutely nothing to do with my trust in them. 

Our daughter spends the majority of her time with other people.  Both Hubz and I work fulltime and Bean stays with family during the day.  When you sit down and figure up the amount of time that I see her, it's pretty slim.  I am more than thankful that she is able to stay with family members instead of having to go to day care but I wished more than anything that I could stay home with her.  I wished I was there every day, all day to be the one to tell her "feet don't go in the toilet" or "please put your pants back on", or be there to kiss away every "boo boo".  But that's just not our reality.

So since I get the smallest amount of her time, when there is time to spend, I only want to spend it with her.  I hate to be away from her.  It still gets to me every single morning that I have to drop her off, even though I know and love the nannies that Bean stays with and she knows and loves them, too.  I know she is loved and looked after.  It has nothing to do with that.  I just wish that I could be the one that she shares her days with.
And her nights.