Okay, Bean is only 14 months old and I feel as though I've already ruined her. Well, maybe not ruined her...yet. But I do know that I've made my share of mistakes. And this really surprises me. I thought making mistakes would come later, that you had maybe the first two years to get used to being a Mommy before the guilt kicked in. I was wrong.
I know, or at least I hope, that the mistakes that I've made aren't the world's worst ones. I know that. But still I sit here and think about these things and realizing what I should have done instead and it makes me feel bad. I mean, why didn't I take people's advice? I don't get any do-overs in Mommyhood.
You might wonder what are these horrible mistakes I've made. Well, the first is Bean will not go to sleep or stay asleep without her bottle. And yes, a bottle. She won't consider making friends with any sippy cup I've introduced her to. She smiles at them, plays with them and then WHAM, right on the floor and she's walking away. But back to the bottle...she has to have a bottle to go to sleep. If you try and take it from her, she wakes up and whines and whines. She won't take a pacifier at all. This bottle is her best friend and she LOVES her best friend. She shouldn't sleep with a bottle because it can mess up her teeth and she needs to learn to self soothe herself without it. And as long as she has this bottle, she will never fall in love with any sippy cup she meets.
The other huge mistake that I've made is that she still sleeps with us. I hear this all the time from people..."you need to get her out of your bed". I know! I know I need to do that but I have to admit that I think she's there just as much for me as she is for herself. I love cuddling up with her. I know she's safe. But I know she can't sleep there forever. I know it's not fair to her or us. I know all these things. But that doesn't make changing them any better or easier.
Now that I've told you my major mistakes, I'm sure you're rolling your eyes and thinking I haven't seen anything yet. I know that, too! But these things still make me feel bad about my first shortcomings as a Mommy and make me wonder what I'm gonna mess up in the future.