It's Christmas time once again.
I would love to believe that everyone in this world is filled with the Spirit of Christmas right now but I keep being shown that we are filled with something else entirely.
It's sad to realize it but we seem to be filled with the spirit of greed and brotherly contention. This was proven this Black Friday weekend. This year we did not venture out on Friday into the stores. We have in the past and for the most part, I have, thankfully, never encountered any type of mayhem like you always see now on the news. No stampedes and no fights.
We did go out on Saturday though thinking all of the craziness would be gone. It was but what was left were short tempers, no patience for anyone, and fellow shoppers that think it's their job to school others. In our local Target, the store I have a love-hate relationship with already, the store was crowded. No one practiced patience with fellow shoppers and their buggies. Sorry - carts for those non-Southern readers! You have double the number of people in any given store that are normally there, which will also mean double the number of buggies you have to maneuver around. People think they have the right to fly through the over-crowed aisles like it's the Daytona 500. Then they want to act surprised to come around a corner and find another cart right there in their way. Grumbling ensues.
I had a lady in Target grumble out loud at me, trying to admonish me in front of other shoppers when I had my buggy in almost the middle of one of the main aisles and her group decided after they had passed the open area that they could turn down beside me that they, in fact, did want to turn in the aisle I was sitting on waiting for them to come by. What she did not know and evidently didn't give a rat's ass about was the reason I was sitting right in the middle of this aisle. Right before this, I had to practice defense driving techniques by having to jerk my buggy that was carrying my child over to the left side of this aisle so that we wouldn't be hit by another shopper that was in a very big hurry to get to the little boys' department for some reason. Underwear sale probably. She almost side-swipped us in her haste.
So as this grumbling woman who had already decided to go by me but then at the last minute changed her mind walks by me, she had the nerve to say out loud "stupid people standing in the middle of an aisle, don't have no learning". Yes, she said that to me. She had no idea why I was in the middle of this aisle she wanted on but thought I was an idiot and felt the need to point it out to everyone within earshot but not quite brave enough to say it directly to my face.
She might not have been brave but I was. I decided since I evidently am a buggy driving idiot that the nuthouse allowed out long enough to do some Christmas shopping but normally keeps me in to treat my idiotic ways like not having the sense to come in from out of the rain and shoving my finger into light sockets and such, I would act like said idiot and do a song and dance for her. I mean, I've already pissed this fellow shopper off with my mere existence on her planet, I might as well try to entertain her in some fashion. I start singing and dancing while pushing my buggy on forward - managing to actually do three things at once.
"I'm so sorry I'm alive."
"I"m so sorry my momma didn't raise me right."
"I'm so sorry I've ruined your shopping. Thank God you were here today to tell me so."
"Won't somebody please take me outside and beat me?"
I'm not sure if you'll hear that little ditty on any Christmas music radio channels this year but that woman and a few others sure heard it. And I heard what she said at the end of my performance, too.
"I'll be damned..."
Oh no, please don't. It's Christmas!
So...who wants to go shopping with me next weekend? I'm currently working on my Walmart version cause it's a totally different crowd over there.