Friday, January 14, 2011

Tradin' up.

My husband loves to fish. He has been dreaming and Craigslist browsing for a boat for about three years now. It is his only want. Well, except for world peace and all that crap. You know.

We cannot afford a boat. And there is no room at the inn for a boat if you know what I mean.

Around Christmas, Hubz came home one day with quite a fish tale. He had found a man he met through his work that wanted to trade Hubz a bass boat for his ATV. Hubz has had an ATV for several years that has taken up a portion of my back porch. This ATV needed to be fixed up and sold. I always wondered why Hubz had been taking his own sweet time getting around to fixing the thing. Evidently, he was a dreamer and had hoped it would be useful for just an occassion as he found presented to him then.

I personally thought the whole thing was a little hokey. Who would trade a boat for an ATV? Well, we met the one person that would, evidently. We now own an old bass boat that, as far as I can tell from the pictures, has absolutely no glitter on it at all. Who would buy a bass boat with no glitter? Listen, I have spent enough hours of my life at a Bass Pro Shop begging Hubz to stop drooling on the boats and take me home. I know a thing or two about some glittery boats. In my opinion, the more glitter, the more a boat costs. I can respect that. I value my glittery things, too.

But I was against this trade from the very beginning. I had my arguing points. I work for attorneys. I know how to argue! This is how it all went down:

1) We can't afford insurance on a boat. = His answer is you don't need insurance on a boat that has no lien against it. That's fair. Just don't run your uninsured boat into someone else's boat and that logic will work out just fine.

2) We can't afford boat registration. - His reply is "it's only 30 bucks or something." We'll see. He might still win this point but I doubt it.

3) We can't afford gas/fuel for a boat. "The guys will help chip in for that when they go fishing with me." Ummhum. I know his friends. Or maybe he is trading friends, too?

4) He will never be home on the weekends now. - His answer is "sure I will". I'm honestly not sure if this is really a point for or against boat ownership but right now I'm using it as a point against. But I've have learned a thing or two from recent political candidates and know I can flip flop on any given point on any given day.

5) He will expect me to go fishing with him. - He just blinked at me and said "don't you want to go fishing?" I just blinked right back at him and say "do you even know who I am?" The last time I went fishing with him I found myself and my child in the middle of a lake tsunami. That's a real thing, right? Trying to outrace a thunderstorm by gunning a boat 45mph, hitting each and every single wave and then being thrown back into the air for the next wave, while being pelted by raindrop daggers while trying to keep my big baby birthweight-leftover butt perched on a slippery 5 inch wide fiberglass seat while holding a freaked out screaming two year old banshee is not my idea of a fun afternoon of fishing. I'll pass.

I think my points are all very valid. But I must have lost this argument because this boat is now parked at my father-in-law's shop being man-oogled by the fellas.

Oh joy. I sure can't wait for warm weather now.

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