On Monday, Bean will start a Montessori summer camp program. This will be the first time she has gone to a school or daycare. She is very excited. She keeps saying "I want to go to school". I am nervous about the whole thing. The closer we get to Monday, the tighter my chest seems to get. My friend asked me today why I was so nervous and anxious about it and here's what I came up with.
1. I'm afraid she'll beat up all the other kids. She isn't really aggressive but she doesn't like to share and I'm afraid this might create all kinds of opportunities for those wonderful parent-teacher conferences.
2. She's a klepto. She loves little treasures. She has no thought as to whom those little treasures belong to. I find all sorts of items in her pockets and purses every day. I have a box of items that I have to return to her cousins already. I don't want to have to start a school return box, too.
3. I'm afraid she'll freak out the first day. Or really, I'm afraid I'll freak out on the first day. She is normally very independent but she does have her shy moments. Those moments cause her to attach herself to my leg and she does the best impersonation of shrink wrap you've ever seen. I asked the lady that showed me around the school last week if on the first day, was I allowed to hang in the back of the room to observe and make sure she acclimated herself to the school, or if they preferred parents to get in and get out. She opted for the get-in, get-out method. I was crushed. How can I make sure my baby is okay??? She needs her mother! Okay, she really doesn't. Most times I'm lucky to get a "Bye Mommy" in the mornings when I drop her off at Giggles. But I need her to need me and I'm afraid that this first day of camp will be one of those rare times that she needs me.
4. Did I mention I'm afraid I'm gonna freak out when I drop her off? Yeah, I did and I am.
This is a big step for Bean. I know that she's gonna love being around other kids her own age. I know that she's going to love to play with all the new toys. I know that she's gonna do great. And I hate all of that.
Okay, I don't really hate it but it is another big sign that my baby isn't a baby anymore. She is stepping out into the world for the first time and she has to do it on her own. She will do great. She will love it. I just hope that on the second day I don't have to return many items and I don't have to apologize to that many other parents.