Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Confessions of a slacker.

Hello.  My name is Pinkie.  I am a slacker.

Slacker


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


The term slacker is commonly used to refer to a person who avoids work (especially British English), or (primarily in North American English) an educated person who is antimaterialistic and viewed as an underachiever.[1][2]


I thought I’d blog about how much of a slacker I am cause that truly sounds like interesting reading for all of you, right?  Well, bear with me cause maybe some of you have felt that way before and can give me inspiration to turn myself around.  If not, maybe I can just make you feel better about yourself.  Either way - win/win, right?

I have been a slacker all my life.  I don’t know any other way to be.  I slack at work.  I’m tired of doing the same thing all the time.  I have days where I just want to go into my office and I don’t want a single person to say a single word to me.  Let me be for the eight hours I’m chained to this desk.

I slack at home.  I have piles and piles of clothes to wash.  I have dirty floors that need to be swept, mopped and vacuumed.  I have tons of stuff on every surface of every counter top.  I watch Clean House just to make myself feel better about our house.  Thank God Niecy Nash doesn't know where I live.

I used to spend time on myself and how I looked.  Now I’m lucky if I remember to keep up my “landscaping”.  I used to feel like such a “girlie girl”.  Now I barely feel like a girl.

What’s going on with me?  I’m not depressed.  At least I don’t feel depressed.  I just feel like there isn’t enough energy in my body to do the things I need to do.  I also feel overwhelmed with all that needs to be done.  Once I do finish one thing, I turn around to find 100 other things that need to be done.  So now I’m in this mode of “why bother because it doesn’t even help”.

I read other mommy blogs and they all seem to have their act together.  They have meal plans, full pantries, they have de-clutter days, they seem to have it all.  I think to myself “well if I didn’t have a fulltime job, I could be like that”.  But I wonder if that’s true or if it would just give me more slacking hours in the day.

But I want to change.  I don’t want to be this slacker forever.  I want to be responsible.  I want to be a good employee (well, you get my drift), a good homemaker, a good wife and mommy.  I don’t want to be Slacker Sally any more.  But making this change is hard and there have been too many set-backs.

I want to be a better example to Bean but maybe I need to find a better example for myself first.  Where do I start?  How do I  begin?  Can I even do it?
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