Thursday, July 1, 2010

The "I Don't Haves".

I realized this morning after dropping Bean off at her camp that I never thought I'd be in a school drop off lane with my own child. As I'm pulling out of the school, a really nice SUV that I used to dream of went past me. I had a momentary thought of "I don't have that."

I don't have a brand spanking new car with all the bells and whistles but I do have a car that gets me where I need to be which is to work to earn some money and back home to the people that mean the most.

I don't have a closet full of nice new clothes. In fact, the pants I'm wearing are probably 11 years old. But I do have clothes that are clean and not ragged from having to wear them every day and every night out on the streets.

I don't have one of the big pretty 1920s mansions that I drive by every day and have always dreamed of living in. But I do have a home. It's not paid for but I am able to get up every day and earn some money towards the mortgage. And it is the place I can go to when I can't go any place else. It also keeps my loved ones warm and dry.

I don't have a ton of really cool hip friends but the ones I do have I know if I called them in the middle of the night and said "I need you", I know they'd be there for me.

I don't have the greatest, sexiest body but I do have one that is working without having to be hooked up to machines or packed full of medicines every day. I can run and jump and, for the most part, keep up with my daughter when she wants to play with Mommy.

I don't have my own parents with me any more but I do have the ability to try and be as good to my child as they were to me.

I don't have a celebrity husband but he does have two big strong arms that can hold me when I need comforting. And I think he's beautiful. I see his beautiful face every time I look at my child.

What I do have most of all is love. I have love from my family and friends and tons of love for them, too. And, to me, that's the best gift of all.

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