Yep, my vacation is now over and I'm back to the grind of fulltime work. I can't explain to you how horrible I felt this morning having to leave Bean and go off to work. My heart broke all over again like it did the first day back from maternity leave. I wished I was independently wealthy so I could stay home with her. No, not even wealthy, just able to pay our bills each month and keep us clothed, covered, and fed.
But we're not so I have to turn my darling baby over to someone else each weekday morning and I have to walk heavy-hearted back to my car to start the long commute away from my child. I know what I am doing for her is the right thing because this is what we have to do right now, but that doesn't make it any easier. I just hope that one day she will understand why I had to do it and more than that, I hope one day, she will be in a better position so if she has her own child, she won't have to leave them if she doesn't want to. Good luck, Bean! I hope you'll have an easier time at mommyhood than I did.