Monday, June 22, 2009

Vacation's over - wah wah wah

Yep, my vacation is now over and I'm back to the grind of fulltime work. I can't explain to you how horrible I felt this morning having to leave Bean and go off to work. My heart broke all over again like it did the first day back from maternity leave. I wished I was independently wealthy so I could stay home with her. No, not even wealthy, just able to pay our bills each month and keep us clothed, covered, and fed.

But we're not so I have to turn my darling baby over to someone else each weekday morning and I have to walk heavy-hearted back to my car to start the long commute away from my child. I know what I am doing for her is the right thing because this is what we have to do right now, but that doesn't make it any easier. I just hope that one day she will understand why I had to do it and more than that, I hope one day, she will be in a better position so if she has her own child, she won't have to leave them if she doesn't want to. Good luck, Bean! I hope you'll have an easier time at mommyhood than I did.

1 comment:

Devilish Southern Belle said...

Awww, I'm sorry! I've always had to work, too....but was so overwhelmed with motherhood that it didn't bother me as bad to leave mine as it does some moms.

I was lucky enough to be able to work part time while they were in school for several years, though, so after they started school, I was drop-off & pick-up mom, and there after school. Worked out well! Maybe you will get to at least cut your hours back one of these days.